September 13, 2013

Confessions of a Jaded Geek: 10/30

It’s day 10 of the 30-day D&D Challenge! And this time it’s about the craziest moment you ever had in a game! This may well be the most difficult question yet – not because it’s hard to answer, but because I can’t choose between our worst moments.

Yep, the Band of Rorax would become notorious for playing our games, all our games, for laughs. There were the shameless ripoffs from various geek cult classics, from Star Trek TOS to Conan the Barbarian (1982) to Star Wars to Monty Python and back again, and everything in between. We had characters like Elonna Melonna the Melon Elf and Macho the Mage (natural 18 strength!), JJ’s characters whatever the class were always royal perverts played like Rumiko Takahashi’s Happosai, while John and Barry always made a great comedic team, largely by John’s wit and at Barry’s expense.

In one of these episodes, John was playing a ranger scouting a deserted enemy campsite, where he sticks a finger into some horse dung, tastes it, then reports to Barry:

John: “Five men. On horses. One lame. They went south. They ate corn.”

Barry: “Wow, you could tell all that just by tasting the horse dung?!”

John: “No. Saw tracks.”

Barry: “So why did you have to taste the horse dung?!”

John: “I like corn.”

We also had some of the worst magic items appear in our games, among them the Shuriken of Healing (3/round, 1d4 damage per hit, 1d8 healing per hit), the Groin Guard of Incontinence, and the dreaded Boots of Plenty (the farther you walk in em the more food they produce).

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